Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
