Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
