yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
