Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
