You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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