Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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