i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I need a burrito and a hug.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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