You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
