Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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