I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
