I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
