It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
