And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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