the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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