I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
