Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
