I'm jealous of your bromance
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
