I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
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