i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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