It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
