ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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