I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
