My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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