I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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