Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
