Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
