hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
