The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
