halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
