If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
