At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
