Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
