I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
