But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
