Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Panties = found
Randomize
