they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
