I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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