i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize
