coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
