Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
