My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
