I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
