i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
