Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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