North Korea, Best Korea!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
