Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
