i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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