I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
