He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
