Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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